PARIS – With the critics circling ahead like ravens, his fans cutting themselves in protest of his smoking weed, Selena Gomez stepping on his heart, and the whole “ Anne Frank would have been a Belieber ” fiasco,Justin Bieber decided to spend his private, quieter moments learning to suck his own penis. Yesterday, he finally succeeded.
“I feel pretty good about it,” the teenaged pop star said, sitting shirtless in a blow-up armchair. “I don’t need anyone anymore.”
Our correspondent asked J.B. how exactly he’d managed the endeavor.
“Wanna see?” Bieber responded, his pants half-off already, a mix of both pride and fear flashing on his face. Our correspondent had to pull the teenaged popstar’s pants off himself.
“I can really do it,” Bieber said, finally allowing his studded belt to be re-buckled. “You believe me, don’t you?” Our correspondent told him he did, then quietly backed away as the emotionally exhausted, trembling 19-year-old lay down on his fur waterbed, and without another word, without even a glance in our reporter’s direction, slipped into sleep.
No comments:
Post a Comment